Jason & deMarco - RJN MUSIC

Let's Come Together - We Can Change the World!

Letters to J&D

 

The following are several letters that we have received over the past few months. We felt that it was important to share these letters so others can know that they are not alone in their journey of self discovery and acceptance. The letters start with the most recent date.

Names have been changed or omitted for confidentiality purposes.

6/24/10

Sorry for sending a message instead of a comment. I usually dont do this but I feel as if God has told me to write you this. My name is _____. I am a 22 year old male from a town called Washington Court House, Ohio. Ive been going through some hardships dealing with my faith, homosexuality, and my family. Ive always been a religious person, having unconditional love for my lord and savior. My family makes life harder and harder for me to live everyday. Last night things came to a head and she said some very hurtful homophobic things to me as well as my older sister. Today I started thinking about ending my life. I grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills and was thinking about taking them. Sitting with the pills in my had and crying, I picked up my remote to try to get my mind off of what I was about to do and started looking though channesl. Then I came up on a documentary called We're All Angels. As I started to watch I started to realize why should I have to choose between my sexuality, my faith, or my life. Just because Im a gay male doesnt mean that im damned for hell for all eternity like ive been told my whole life. You both have saved my life in so many ways. I know that my mother will never watch the documentary which makes me sad, or will she probably ever accept me. Just watching you guys do what you do have really made me open my eyes to life. I know that you have many fans but it would be an honor for me to one day meet you and tell you how much you have changed my life. Thank you for that gift.

 

6/2/010

Hello Jason and Demarco, my name is ______. I am 19 years old and i live in a small country named Belize. On watching your documentary on the telle i could really concur to the message you were both bringing across. I was in church, i was a worship leader and a youth group leader. On telling my pastor about a situation i found my self in whit a young man, i was removed from all my positions at my church. I was so hurt and felt used like my gift was just used for the sheer purpose of man. I tried so desperately to get back into the presence of God but my Pastor and the members of my church made me felt that God had left my side and has turned his back from me. I didn't felt the presence of God for a long while after that. My hear ached and Bled because all i knew was to praise God and nothing else i surrounded my self with he covering of the Lord and my elders were there to speak things into my life and whit all that gone i was exiled into my own world left to die and be fed to the enemy. My story gets alot more complicated and i would like the chance to share it with you but im not shure that this message will reach the right hands if it does its the will of god and if it dosent well u know. With love and Much Respect

 

June 25. 2010

Dear Jason and De Marco, Hi, my name is _____. I just saw you guys perform in New York this past Sunday. First you came to my church, Unity of New York. Then, through the urging of my friends, I followed you two to Sacred Center where we heard Lisa Nichols (from the movie The Secret) speak, wasn't she awesome? That entire day was a perfect example of the great things that can happen when I say "yes". You guys blessed me immensely. Congratulations on getting married! I think that's sooo cool. I also bought your documentary, watched it and was blown away by your persistence in the face of bigotry and intolerance. You are truly shining examples of what can happen when we believe in our dreams and " never, never, never give up!" (Winston Churchill). When I was fifteen yrs old, I too wanted to be a Contemporary Christian/ Gospel Artist. When I realized however that I was gay and probably not going to turn straight, I decided to dream a lot smaller. So small in fact that I basically stopped singing for about 7yrs. I grew up in a Brooklyn baptist church and saw how people who were caught in a scandal (being gay, getting pregnant out of wedlock, a divorce etc) would lose their status in the church, be asked to step down from service and talked about like a diirrty dawg! I feared that so much that I let it compromise my confidence. I let my church convince me that being gay was a disability and that I was less than worthy of love, happiness, success, salvation or any other good. I no longer believed in myself and wouldn't for years to come. You guys fly in the face of all that bullshit and are victorious. You have overcome so many obstacles it is truly amazing. The part of the movie that I love the most is when Jason's father concedes that being gay is not a choice. I'm just floored by how many lives you've changed simply by being your authentic selves. In closing (man this was a long e-mail!), I want to encourage you and thank you again for being your authentic selves and letting God work through you to bring about the healing work you are doing on the planet. You guys Rock! You have also encouraged me to start taking singing way more seriously, like actually believing that I could be successful at it. Sincerely, a future gay Artist of Life, P.S. I also got SAFE and I cant get "It's Okay" out of my head. I love that song!

 

12/22/09

Hey Guys, Just caught your documentary on Showtime and was happy to learn about the two of you and the important work you are doing. There is no bridge more difficult to build than that between the Christian and Gay worlds. Gay people discriminate against Christians, and Christians against Gays. To be both can leave one feeling lost and lonely. Your efforts to bridge a morally bankrupt Gay society together with a morally ignorant and hypocritical Christian society can only result in a win-win situation. You are part of the first steps necessary in mending this broken connection. When parents and the the church acknowledge and accept homosexuality as God created, and NOT a "choice", they can truly begin to embrace, love, and support their gay children. I, like you, "came out" in a gay club, and, well lets just say I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I fantasize a world where the option exists to come out to your parents, or within your church without consequence. Millions of us, lost and lonely, would be more accepting of a God and a religion that accepted us first! The other true hero's in your story are your parents, who crossed that bridge out of love. To hear a Christian parent state that they have come to believe that being gay is NOT a choice, means they truly "get it". God made us the way we are, and loves us the way we are. I am a 50 year old gay parent that has recently gone through a breakup from a 10 year relationship. It is extremely difficult to maintain love in the gay relationship without a love and trust in God. I know you two will experience mountains of frustrations and triumphs, and I pray you will find God's strength within you to stay together and push forward in this important mission you have accepted. I'll be watching for your success.

 

12/28/09

Jason and DeMarco - God truly gave me an unexpected blessing tonight: The two of you. By way of a long series of coincidences, I happened upon "We're All Angels" on Showtime. It was 1:30 a.m., "got to go to bed... but what an interesting title..." and now it's 4:00 a.m. I am a gay Catholic priest which, as you can imagine, is always a struggle on many levels. (Is it redundant to say I'm basically in a very dark closet?) Your lives, your music, and your relationship with each other and God is so touching! Thank you for staying open to God's call and sharing his love through your music and your presence. Growing up in the 50's and 60's, it wasn't in church that I learned hatred for "homosexuals." ("Gay" hadn't been invented yet.) It was in the junior high locker room - and everywhere else. I didn't know I was gay. I couldn't even admit to myself that I was gay. All I knew was that there was something so wrong with me that I would be absolutely rejected by everyone who found out, even myself. Except God. The one thing the nuns got across to me in elementary school was that God loves us, no matter what. But it's difficult to hang onto that when every other voice cries out condemnation. So God had to hang onto me very tightly (and he still does). Tonight, you were his arms. Your music was his voice. I have a long way to go. Please keep me in your prayers. You and your ministry will be in mine. Peace - P.S. I noticed on your web site that you publish some of these messages. Feel free to use this one, but please do not use my name! - We are neighbors here in L.A. (big neighborhood). If there's ever any chance I could take you to lunch or dinner, or whatever, please let me know. 8/24/08 Dear Jason and deMarco, I just recently watched your movie "We're All Angels", and I fell in love with you two, you guys seem like such a sweet couple. Your movie changed my beliefs. At 40 I thought I knew what I believed. I was raised in a Pentecostal church (that should explain a few things), and love Jesus, and I had always believed homosexuality was a choice, but after seeing your movie, I now believe that if you are gay, it's because you are born that way. You have a new fan. I make everyone listen to your CD's, Oh and one other thing, I don't say "This is a gay duo", I just say "aren't they great singers". Thanks for doing the movie, it has made me rethink all I thought I knew. a new fan...

 

7/25/09

Hi guys, I just watched your show on showtime and found your story truly inspiring. You appear so genuine, loving and honest. I just wanted to wish you all the best in your careers and encourage you to never loose faith in the impact you can have on peoples lives. Please continue with your message - your beauty, talent and spirit are a wonderful gift. PS: Demarco - you are a hottie....but you've gotta show that boy Jason some romance --- we need a media romance in the gay community ! And Jason - can't believe you're a Christian singer talkin' bout mangina -- I laughed my ass off when I heard that....and it convinced me you guys are the real deal :-) Sending you some love! 6/24/08 Dear Jason and Demarco, I am not accustom to e-mailing people whom I don’t know personally out side of my work duties, I guess it is because I can be shy. I must tell you both that I watched your Showtime Special and had a profound and significant impact on my life, spiritually. You see I was raised for the first 12 years of my life as a Mormon and then from age 12 to 18 Assembly Of God. Wow what a mix. In both of these organizations I attempted to reconcile my Homosexuality with what I was told God could and would except. I can still recall my last trip to the Alter late one Sunday night in Moab Utah in May of 1979 at the age of 18. I could not understand why God would not remove these feeling from me. To make a log story short I started living a lie. I went to college and then became a Police Officer for several years and was finally asked to resign for suspicions of my sexual orientation. I was living in a small New Mexico town (Aztec) and could find no work for all must have known about me. I moved to Dallas TX and went to work for the Federal Government and went through two relationships that I did not love the guy and also I did not like myself because I felt that I was living an abnormal life. I found MMC of Dallas with one of the guys I lived with and still did not see any positive role models for my life. Well to make a long story short I started drinking heavy and doing some drugs. I have since went in and out of AA with out much success because of Step #3 which has to do with turning our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood him. I re-entered the AA program on May 5 of this year and was again working on step 3 with my sponsor and he advised that if I could not reconcile this step I would be one of those hopeless cases. Let me tell you that the week leading up to seeing your special I was praying to a God that I thought had turned a Deaf ear. After seeing your show this Sunday a miracle has happened to me, I now know that God loves me for who he created and I too can have a monogamous relationship and be in God’s will. I want to thank you both for inspiring me to carry on and looking forward to what God has in store for me. Jason, I can truly say praise the Lord and not feel like a blasphemy. I plan to join your fan group and tell all of my gay friends about the wonderful work you are doing and will plan on seeing your at the awakening conference in February. With God’s Love The following is an excerpt of emails from a young teen whom I have been communicating with since December. Unfortunately, we lost Alec. These emails are in his memory, reminding us all that there is much work to be done.

12/24/09 - Alec's First Letter

Hi Jason and deMarco

My name is Alec and I'm only sixteen. My friend told me what incredible guys you are, and I thought maybe you could help me find the right path to take. I came out to my parents when I was fifteen, they kicked me out about five months ago, and I went to live with my boyfriend who is nineteen, almost twenty. At first, everything was amazing and he was sweet and loving toward me. It started getting worse though, he would come home drunk, or on some sort of drug, that I could deal with. It wasn't until he started getting mad at me about every little thing - leaving my bowl on the table, or something small like that - that I started getting worried. He started hitting me, and calling me things that I can't even repeat... After he hit me, he'd say he was sorry and that he loves me and that he'll never do it again...I believed it, the first few times.

The space between the first and second time he hit me was about a month, so I figured it was only something small. Where I live, I've seen so many of my friends killed, or killing themselves, over drugs. I don't want to become that person, the next nameless kid that is found in the dumpster. I have no where to go, and he holds that against me. He knows if I leave him, I'll be on the streets. I'd go live with my parents again, but to them I don't exist. My brother said they burned all my old pictures, and my things that were left in the house.

I'm sorry, I don't know who else to talk to for help. I just want God to forgive me for everything I've done. I want to feel like He cares, and that He loves me. I want to feel like I have a friend, even when all other hope fails, I want to know that I can depend on Him to pull me ahead. I don't know where to go, or who to talk to.

2/16/10 - Alec's 2nd Letter

Some good news, and yet, some bad.

I moved in with a friend whose mother is a counselor and has put me in touch with another counselor to speak to. Well, the couselor that I'm talking to is working with some people to find a couple willing to adopt me. Good news: my friend's mom is thinknig about adopting me, so I wouldn't have to move or anything, and she knows my situation and all. Bad news: my parents haven't legally emancipated me. Bad news: nobody really wants a nearly 17 year old gay kid...(17 on the 23rd!). Bad news: I might have to leave here, and leave my friends and people that I'm so close with they're closer than family. but maybe that's what I need, a fresh start.

As far as school goes, I've only missed a few days and I'm keeping up with my classes, i think the only class getting me down is Math, but i've always been horrible in math.

Yeah, the reason I'm up so late is a: i can't sleep, and b: i just got home from being with some friends at about 1:15..curfew (like, town curfew for teens) is midnight. oooops. oh well. I've been a bit of an..insomniac lately. I think that if I just crash and sleep for hours, I'llbe okay.

3/5/10 - Alec's 3rd Letter

Hey. I've been thinking...I don't know if I'm going to stay here. The people I'm staying with are amazing, and I love them, but it doesn't feel like I belong. They don't know what I'm going through and no matter how much they try to help, they can't. They've been putting a lot of time into helping me, and I don't feel like I've improved much. It feels like I've gotten worse. I keep thinking what would've happened if I stayed with Tony. Now I'm starting to feel like maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to stay with him. I still had my parents, even though they didn't care. I had Tony. Despite all the shit he put me through, we still had a lot of great times and I actually kind of miss those moments, where he'd just hold me and say that he loved me. It made me feel like, despite everything, someone loved me, and someone cared about me. Maybe I'm naive, but I think he did love me. He had a lot of problems and stuff, and the drugs didn't help. I know that it wasn't him that did those things..it was the drugs. It just doesn't feel like anyone really cares as much as they say they do.

I think I'm gonna stay for a few days, then I dunno. I'll find somewhere. I have wireless on my laptop, so I'll be able to get online. I have some cash saved up. I'll be fine. I might stay with Jere-miah, for a while, until I figure something else out. I know it sounds stupid, I have somewhere to stay, a roof over my head. But I dont think I can stay much longer. It feels like there's too many..ghosts around here, that I just can't be around. I haven't decided yet, I'll let you know later.

5/28/10 - Alec's Friend Writes

It's about Alec. I am a friend and I know he has been in communication with you. He committed suicide a couple days ago. I should've guess he was getting depressed. He was becoming more and more withdrawn.

I think he was on some sort of drug, too. I should've picked up on it. I feel like I failed him, as a best friend. He came to see me a few days before it happened. He seemed fine, we talked for a while. I thought you'd want to know. - Kary

12/10/10 - Dear J&D

I bought my sister your CD "Till the End of Time" and I think she will enjoy it. About 6 1/2 years ago I was struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction and in a deep depression wanting to end my life. Your song "Just In Time" aptly describes what my family did for me back then. I hid my addiction from them and couldn't come clean with them over the phone. I only told them that I couldn't go on living the way I was. My sister sensed I was in great danger and was willing to come up to Chicago to get me out of there. My mom made the trip instead and brought me home to get help. I tearfully informed my entire family in our living room just how much I was drinking and the drugs I was doing. They were totally shocked but relieved that I was home and willing to get help.

After being hospitalized for 10 days, I joined a 12 step program and have been active in it ever since. The road to recovery hasn't been easy but I have stayed sober one day at a time since April 30, 2001. Back when I was in the midst of my depression, I couldn't even imagine how much better my life would be today. I have a great relationship, a promising career and most importantly, a close relationship with God. I'm so thankful that my family intervened when they did because I probably would have carried out my death wish if they hadn't.

Thank you for your inspiring music. "Just In Time" will always have a special meaning in my family's heart. Continue to spread your message of hope.

8/31/07 - Dear Jason and deMarco:

I have recently found out about the beautiful work you guys are doing from DNA magazine (Australia). I find your views on spirituality quite advanced, and it is only a pity that so many members of our gay community are blind to the extent they can not perceive the greater cosmic truths coming from a life based on spiritual values. Keep doing your beautiful work of awakening mankind for a new era of unconditional love, respect for others, planetary and cosmic citizenship, spiritualised sexual energy used as a light source and even greater cosmic truths! Light and love.

8/20/07

BRAVO!! I attended the screening of "We're All Angels" with two friends of mine, a young gay couple (16 and 18, who have been in a committed relationship now for 10 months). Judging from the comments that they wrote on their blog, they were both affected by the film and the story of your lives. I know I was. I first learned about you from the Advocate cover story from a few years back, so it was great to see the documentary. It's funny how God works. If someone had told me a couple of years ago that I would be writing to you two years hence, I would have doubted that tremendously. It is not often that our GLBT young people are afforded the opportunity to see role models who are individuals that live out their lives in faith. They are most often given representations of the destructive parts of this community and told that this is how you are supposed to live a gay existence; that you have to live out a lifestyle and not a life.

8/3/07 - Hi, Jason and Demarco

My name is Alec. I am 17 yrs old. I have been dealing with several issues concerning my sexuality since middle school when a friend (boy was I wrong) introduced me to pornography, since that time I have dabbled at looking at gay porn. I have been called every gay name in the book even though I consantly tell people that I am not gay. I have found myself thinking of gay sex and gay sex acts often. It's not that I dont think of girls as good looking I am just not sexually or in any other way attracted to them. I feel that these issues are hindering my relationship with God and need to be resloved. I really don't know what to think anymore as I want children but picture myself raising them without a wife. No one elese but God knows what I have been going through. Thanks for listening.

7/24/07 - Dear Jason and deMarco,

I just wanted to write in and say how soothing and peaceful your music is. I stumbled across it when I was reading the interview about you on www.gay.com. I think you both send an amazing message about spirituality to gay people who sometimes feel abandoned by religion. I've only recently come to terms with my own orientation. I've denied it for so long and even hated myself at times, having been raised in a small town Catholic church all my life where it was a very taboo subject. It wasn't until I went to college and minored in religion, studying with religious scholars as professors, that I realized that many things people in my church had taught me had little to no basis at all in the Bible. I'm not sure where my life is going yet, but I'm glad to know that there are people like you who give hope to so many. I hope I can soon find the peace you two have. Everyone deserves to share their love with someone else. It was the highest commandment that Jesus gave us. I pray that your courage and positive message will help guide others along the same path; to love and serve each other as Christians.

5/23/07 - Dear Jason and deMarco

Your film really touched me. I thought it was really beautiful, vulnerable, truthful, all-embracing of who you guys are in your totality. So much authenticity and honesty and heart came through. I was blown away by your talent and who you are as human beings.

5/15/07 - Dear Jason and deMarco

I wanted to tell you again, how much my parents and I enjoyed your concert. From the moment I heard you were performing for us I couldn't wait for the day to come. My Mother and Father, whom you met afterwards, just loved you both. Like you said, I am very fortunate to have supportive parent like I do. I praise God for them everyday. Well, I just wanted to convey to you both how touched I was by your performance. I held back the tears it was so beautiful. I know in my heart that great things are headed you way. Hope you can perform again some day nearby. Just to let you know, I walked in on my parents sitting that night, enjoying your music on our new cds. God bless you both and thanks again.]]>

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